Breaking Her Own Heart
by controlled climb
Summary: **Things were meant to be perfect. Yet here she was - lying to almost everyone she knew and hating herself for it.** Birthday fic for Aiimy.


**Happy birthday, Aimy! So sorry that this is late, but I hope you enjoy!**

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He was Victoire's. She knew it, and she hated it. Lily Potter dearly hated her cousin sometimes. And each time she saw her fawning over Teddy Lupin like a lost kitten, was one of those times. The way she would snuggle up to him on the family couch made her sick. It made her feel like gripping her cousin by the shoulders and flinging her the ground without mercy. It was pathetic.

Lily sat down on the chair, pleased to have accepted her brother's invitation to play chess. It would be a good distraction from the couple lying near them. She hated family get togethers. But - damn it - they had so many. It was like a nightmare, constantly haunting her. She felt like Merlin's personal joke.

She was quiet about her feelings. She didn't need the disgust of her family mocking her. She knew it was wrong. Lusting over your cousin's boyfriend. It was twisted. So she barely spoke to Teddy, in fears of her secret getting out. On the odd chance that he would initiate conversation with her, she would answer bluntly, hoping with all her heart that he would just _turn away_. Getting hypnotised by those eyes just wouldn't do.

"Are you alright, Lil?" James' voice snapped her from her thoughts.

"Always am," Lily smiled back. It was a weak smile, but a smile nevertheless. She could feel her brother's gaze scrutinizing her, trying to make her break under the pressure. She wouldn't though. She had practise. There was no way she would break. Everything was fine. That's how everyone had to see it. There was no way in hell she would let them think otherwise.

"Checkmate."

Lily groaned heartedly. She was glad that James didn't question her. Maybe she was getting better at this lying game. No one questioned her. They had no reason to. She was fine. That's all there was to it. She pushed the chair back and left the table, letting Albus try his chances against James.

She wandered aimlessly into the kitchen. Picking up an apple and biting into it, she leaned against the counter. How could she let her life become so messed up? She was Harry Potter's daughter, for Merlin's sake. Things were meant to be perfect. Yet here she was - lying to almost everyone she knew and hating herself for it.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Victoire sauntered into the room. The way her gorgeous blonde hair swayed was enough to make Lily want to hurl. Her flawless complexion. Her eyes – melt-worthy and bright. Her slim waist and perfect proportions. Merlin, and how Lily wanted to rip her veela blood from her body. But she couldn't. Because she was her cousin, her own blood, and somewhere deep down, she loved her.

"I'm fine, thanks." The lie had been told so many times before. Lily almost believed that if she said it enough that it would become fact – wishful thinking.

"Teddy said you looked put out," Victoire said, frowning slightly as she looked at the younger girl. They hadn't ever been very close. Yes, they did see each other often, but they had never really interacted that much. But these last few weeks… it had just felt like that her cousin had been _avoiding _her. At first, Victoire had dismissed the fact, thinking that it was just that the stress of OWLs. was getting to her, but after realizing that she had barely spent more than two minutes in the same room with Lily for the last week, she had come to the conclusion that Lily Potter was well and truly avoiding her.

"He must be delirious," Lily replied, readying herself for her retreat.

"Wait a moment, will you?" Victoire caught her hand, pulling her to face her. "We've hardly talked for the last two months."

"Yes, well, I've been busy. OWLs and all."

"Can I talk to you, Lil?" Victoire suddenly sounded desperate. "I really need to talk to someone."

Lily groaned inwardly. The last thing she wanted was to feeling sympathetic towards Victoire. If she couldn't hate her, she was going to do the best she could to _try_ and hate her.

"Can't you talk to Teddy, Vic?" Lily hated how Victoire could turn to him for help. Merlin, she wished it were herself.

"That's the thing…"

"Vickie!"

"I'm not dumping him," Victoire said quickly, realizing how she must have sounded. "It's just… he asked me to marry him."

She could hear her heart smashing into pieces. She could _feel_ her heart breaking. He wanted to marry… Victoire. She blinked several times. He had asked Victoire to marry him. Tears were desperately fighting to make their appearance, but she blinked a few more times. It wasn't fair. She loved him. And so did Victoire. Why did the pretty girl always get the boy? Fate really was cruel. Why, of all people, did Victoire have to tell _her_? Why not her own sister, Dominique? Or even her brother, Louis?

"Lil? Lily?"

Lily gulped, hearing her name being called. She looked up, catching the older girl's eyes for a few moments, before tearing her gaze away.

"Why the hesitation?" Lily finally choked out. Was it possible she would say no? Of course not. Who in their right mind would refuse Teddy Lupin? She couldn't bring herself to look back up at her cousin. She knew that even one look would be her undoing. She wanted to hear Victoire say it. She wanted to hear Victoire tell her that she loved Teddy. She needed to hear her say it. Yes, it would kill her, but she just had to know.

"We're so young…" Victoire was oblivious to Lily's emotions, and was choking up for her own reasons. "But I love him."

"That's all there is to it then," Lily said bluntly. Her next words would seal her fate. Her next words would be the ones to crush her. She was destroying herself, in the most painful way possible. She was taking her own heart, and picking it to pieces. And so she said, "Say yes."


End file.
